What's on your Brain. Objectivity affects what force, before Subjectivity is manifest?


Narco Blog

Narcoleptic. Pathetic fuck.
Ever present: never.
Not worth value.
No new news,
used to
reach the waking hook;
this boggled think-thing thoughts,
the same. Lines.
Far too distant;
far to hook.
buried brain, a stranger,
in straight
in-line Bargain-narc

original composition: 2009 04 09
modified 2011-04-15

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Sister’s Dolly

pulling string;
it fucks; it sucks;
pipe or hole,
powder blade, blood and rock,
beneath; above,
string pulls:
it's inside-out!
fuck it; suck it;
crack-up and smack it
splits in two
spends the day
pick apart pieces
put them away


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Not his best work, but

"It's Saturday", by Marcy Playground... the verses are lacking , but LOVE that chorus:
“cause i got some kind of disease
and there are no remedies
think i should stay in bed today
maybe tomorrow go out and play”
“should've listened when you said beware
of Horny Girls with New Jersey Hair”

(hair, an oft occurring euphemism for "Heroin", in lyric / rhyme [i.e. Bowie, “Aint' got not money, and i an't got no hair”])

Recovering addicts understand. we don't want to be sick; we don't want to use, but there is no cure-- at least-- not the sort of cure, as a "remedy", alluded in those verses. The turnabout is human nature: struggle-on in acrid survival.

and what the f is that part in the middle [of “It's Saturday”]?... all the echo on the voice? what's Wozniak saying there?


“ohh... and i never wanna leave...
ohh.... this place....
ohh.... and i always wanna be...
right here” (another tune, same album, "America", track #2, Shapeshifter, Marcy Playground... and that's a REALLY good one, should you wish to sample some M.P.)

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“ Rehabilitated? It's just a stupid, made-up word, so boys like you can sit behind a desk, wear a fancy suit, and feel important.

You're a jerk!

And I had sex with your mother last night. And I swear to God, you let me outta here, first thing I'm gonna do is kill again! ”

Red, the Shawshank Redemption, as parodied by Seth MacFarlane's "Family Guy", episode "Three Kings" [excepting line breaks, mine]

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You can’t understand, with your books. By degrees.

Something i thought, sometime after waking today, pleading to nothing, nowhere, “I have to find a solution! A fucking solution is out there, i know it.”

and then, i remembered, as the late, Layne Staley (sp?) once murmered midst all the heroin likely, something like the following, which i believe, and have seen first hand to be true:

You can't understand the User's mind
but try, with your “books”, and “degree”s

what follows, however, i do not condone-- that is-- i disagree. I mean it must be high, or low. And I do not recommend you let yourself go, i do not recommend you'd be doin' it [“like me”], as the lyric goes. Me? no. Done did it, however, i bet i don't be doin' it.

yeah, yeah... it's bullshit. a shit event. a shit post. a piece of an article. I'd thought i'd write, diggin' on some manefesto. But the damn alprazolam; trying to survive, and i haven't the motivation, so it's turned.

Edit: wait, wait! I shan't damn, that alprazolam. Rather, what i mean (like, in summary, nearly everything else god-damn it for being so damn good... no-- no-- no, that's not quite right either, but), the glorious, wonderful, little Miss Xex, in a size 1, blue dress.
that's a play on Little Miss S (in a mini dress), an Edie Brickell & New Bohemians joint, yo (Shooting Rubberbands...). And BTW! Fuck McFarlane for his continuous goofin on ol Edie, through Claus (the fish). I don't care what he say, they were an f'n great band, and she, not unlike Janis Joplin: unparalleled

“Burn me again. Burn me away.” -- Solarcaine, sOna [US] (Brian Lubrecht, lyricist)
“Telling lies. Well, that's no surprise.” - Belinda Carlisle, The Go-go's

eh... fuck it

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Any way you do, that’s al-right now Mama

For anyone who dared read the incompleteness of the crapness, a pox upon ... me! For a clumsy lout! So, here's that bit-- i suppose, I might say with some truth-- which haunts me... but, only sometimes... because i thought it seemed pretty far out, so to speak. Indeed, the hypnogagia is a realm from-- i venture-- whence comes, the most beautiful and most horrible we can imagine, at once. And they await you; for that moment of your slipping from consciousness, into whatever-- so, i subscribe, and tend to believe-- there is substance, only not quite tangible, in that other place (i.e. the "place", found often in the Narcoleptic's symptom, hypnogagia-- maybe even in cataplexy, however too difficult to muster). I used to write as much as i was able, sensing a sleep-attack would come on soon, poise myself for writing, or typing does well actually-- as it's more an extension of the body... if you type, that is...
but, sheesh! so much balogna, and nothing sweet. Here it is. Don't go off and cry now because I told you it was awesome, and you had such high hopes, and only to be let down.... down... so, so far down... it's too much to bear....

I feel bad about the fact that I can get some scibble-paper.
A little bit would be okay, and all i need a few lines”

Triumphant, indeed!

okay. snip, snap. on to this other thing now

I need your lovin'
n that's alright
that's alright mama
any way you do
// ASIDE -- because there is relation 'tween it, and what follows //
i thought i had found the one
we were good
as married in my mind
married in my mind's no good
when i think i found a good-old-fashion'd-girl
then she put me in my place
everyone's a little queer
why can't she be a little straight?
ohhh! pink triangle
on her sleeve
let me
the truth
i'm dumb
she's a lesbian
i thought i had found the one

// ASIDE: so, i guess that's supposed to be a bit of a sad song, but tongue-in-cheek, no doubt. it rocks... on many levels. it stands on its own, as a damn cool tune. /
/uh-oh /
/uh... okay/
/there's that "Ocean Size" guitar bit...., w/ Perry "ohhh.....ohhh...."/
/Oh! here's the part where everything is great
...3 ; ...4!....”
all of a sudden you're hit in the face with the musical-equivalent of a Mack-truck!
//aside-- i probably could have cum, in the early days of my fanatacism with Jane's Addiction, were i wanking it at that moment... fucking killer climax.... and, the great thing about it-- i /still/ love it-- i still pretty much feel the same way, every time i hear it... jacking-off aside. {now, aren't you glad I've conjured that little tid-iddly-bit for you? ... ah, geez, no thanks needed.... hehe}

[:like /3...4!... |Muthr-F'n-Whammo! ]
Wish i was ocean size!
No one moves you, man
No one tries
I was made with a heart of stone
to be broken w/ one hard blow (oh-oh)
I've seen the ocean, break on the shore
.... come together? with no harm done!
(...it ain't easy living!)

I want to be
as the ocean
mother-ocean, yeah
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh( front-row slamming against the rails; security peeps n shit... janes, during this era were THE SHIT. no doubt, the bottom line, as in, “Somebody cuts [Perry] in line, [Perry will] just go flying through the air... yeah, just stuff like that, all day long...”, an interview moment available on "Soul Kiss", an early-era, rather home-made video, I extrapolate, circa the "Mountain Song" video production... i.e. there were only /about/ to be super stars. Great airplane b/r candids, etc. Some insight into Eric Avery... a must-have .)

some people tell me home is up
in the sky, there's spy-eye-eye
i wanna be more like the
"No talkin, man! All Action!"

// STOP! - Ritual De Lo Habitual //
(blah, blah... no body ain't gonna stop... great song for cover bands... what can be said, that's not already been said? from this, my guitarist-point-of-view, i have to say it's one of Dave's more irratic bits, yet also one of his most "riff" like bits as well. [i.e. ever notice how much Eric Avery /led/ that band, musically?... ah, but i digress...
furthermore, perry's already acted-out his "Go full blast!" metaphor, in various ways, perhaps "Stop!" is the archetype of that... maybe that's what i'll believe. At least, as concomitantly as could be possible for a figure as himself, to preach to the crowd to "get the fuck up and go nuts"... i mean-- Stop!... it's like an embodiment of all of that... maybe? (uh-duh..... what's a words? i's a brains and brains n poe tay toes awn myne feetseys! like beans .... )

Speaking, more analytically of the inner circle, Perry's superior management skill, as well as virtually unparalled artist, of his sort, "and the water will run".... he's telling secrets... he's writing songs... who knows!... but, place it against the true image of what did publically unfold only moments later. (i.e. Nirvana, Guns n Roses put out hat "punk" album, stating in the first track "...yeah, we're fucked....", as if everyone knew it was coming, and dealt with it in their own way [i.e. Jane's broke up-- a smark move-- in retrospect, no? instead of a one-hit-wonder, they are super-mega-stars... with only 2 /real/ albums... 3 if you could "XXX"... eh-- whatever happened in the studio after that was just passing time. staying in touch w/ the gear-- as it's all PC-- and will put you out-of-business if you blink both eyes, out of sync, or somesuch...])

But, what was i saying? Perry's (or, ahem... marty mcfreeman, or wtf? from "GIFT"?)... foresight, in retrospect so true, for what water /did/ run from up-north-Seattle-way, down all over L.A., it's kind of sad-- largely skewed by F'n Kurt Kobain having to go and blow his goddamn head off-- which left, what, Pearl Jam? i felt /forced/ into being a pearl jam fan, at times. i mean, it's /okay/... and, there was a time i was /real/ into it, but... shit... i dunno... "YellowLedbetter" is a cool take on "hey, check-out-how well i can stand on Jimi's bag [Jimi Hendrix].... Mad Season was cool, and i digress.... lemme put dem tunes back on... as with all i do, this :aside: has taken, likely, 4 to 5 times longer, than my longest estimated guess on it.

(so... blah, in closure...)
But ain't no body ain't gonna stop! it's very, very, incredibly well done. what better-a-track to lead-off Ritual, after all? i dunno. [:aside -- i also like "no one is leavin'", for similar reasons... once some Public Speaking gig for the local "University"-High-School... about racism... and i brought in "No One is Leavin'", and rocked the fuck out of those kids! fuck yeah! (Yes-- the song was "old" even at that time, in 1997, but you know-- gett'n 'em credits, yo! getcha Caul-Idge-ah grad-u-ma-cation! the divine commencement of the Penn Stater, is for some, to do whatever-- puke, piss, eat, drink, at the All American Rathskeller / Green-Room and Gardens, Pugh Street, State College (famous for .... whatever.... beer stench, maybe?),
The very save venue which propelled much of the success of countless musicians,
inluding my own last.fm/music/sOna+[US]/
and later last.fm/music/E-Nation/

(to-self:dammit-- i lost that steam. i need another smoke, and a piss, and i'll be back-- and the tunes, the goddamn tunes!)

I am skin and bones... (narcissism / self loathing )... [:heroin is known to impact philosophical thought]
i.e. Civilization, and it's Discontents (Freud)... it's the same thing: Ain't no Wrong | Ain't no Right: only pleasure and pain. Grandiose-- brought-down to a power-flake, let it melt on your tongue, and there it is, and there it was... it's all this... and it's only that... at the same time. /aside: phew!/ hehe...

yeah-- man ain't meant to work! (so we can live for, carnal pleasure)
Please yourself! n Please Your Queen!
(i remember these days... fucking being very far-up on the agenda-list)
I recall Perry, in a radio interview stating, something as "Man, i fall in love five or six times a day, man. Don't you?"... some such. god damn i love than man, for helping me to see things about peace, love - passion, love - devotion, happiness, etc.... [damn...]

[nothing unique for me to write about Flightless Bird, American Mouth by Iron and Wine, but it is a lovely tune. i wanted to hear it just now. Jane's addiction is rough-on-you, in certain circumstances, perhaps... maybe it just looked-me-in-the-face, when i dug-into the Queue thing here in the ol' Foobar-cookie-Jar.

Okay...Not that Mary Playground need any sort of prelude, as if to beg forgiveness-- but, i'd have to be an idiot to not realize that sex n candy some pretty much ruined their careers.... well, that, and -- you guessed-it-- HEROIN... god damn dope.
Why do i Love Marcy Playground? because it f'n rocks. and i shall forever have immortalized just beyond my own visage, that i might see it as it was-- it was my birthday-- but, there was no party-- it was a bad year-- dealing w/ a breakup n stupid shit x-axis, y-axis, axis-I, etc.... and I've loved Marcy P., in and of that reason, for a long time. Then, I realized, their music is actually pretty kick ass. In a way, John Wosniak, could easily have stepped-into Kobain's shoes, and carried on some kind of whatever-the-fuck-a-tradition-such-an-amalgamation-might-have-produced, yo. hehe.... seriously, though... if you don't dig on it, then dig.
in "A CLaok of Elvin' Kind" (well, first-- it's not difficult to uh... extrapolate?... what the tunes are going-on about.... it's a pretty-heavy drug-album... i wish i could think of an anology... maybe OK Computer?.... tip-of-tongue thing there... but, whatever's playing-- here in the set-list right now, as i write this-- these are GREAT tunes... "Cloak of Elvin Kind"... it's all this imagery-- that's Wozniak's forte-- he conjures imagery-- and here, i have on that cloak man, and i'm doing whatever-- his mother didn't want him wearing it... something... i forget now. ... another song is playing, entitled "Opium". Gee. I wonder. what could this reference?
/I'm so happy

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