What's on your Brain. Objectivity affects what force, before Subjectivity is manifest?

If you had to

say it
over and over
each time you hit
each time you socked
would you continue, swallowing
would you play-date
to use if not to hate
a game of shuttlecock?

On the Easy

Riddling is Easy:
Pen cheap reference, even more so.
Ritalin, however, not good.

methylphenidate ranks amongst those which are merely okay.
for the headache it may induce

Prelude for the Omega

anti-break,
anti-fast
now be a viewer
zoom things passed.

Ingested vs Symptomatic Lethargy

Revisit the Substitute
falsehood as femme
freedom imposed
li'l miss Leading
laid lying in agony
distanced belief in golden hex
true ruler of requisite rejoining

Sister Lethargy
kin companion
most remarkable in absentia
creeping death
here maybe referenced
or by King Celluloid
counts in translation for 1,985 feline eyes.
Sister cloaked waning stranger
no shadow of the Leader
foreign keeper of palace
sleeper at Barrymore Inn.

Symptomatic, she appears overhead:
blunt object
strike skull matter
bury it into well
trained synapse
Sister Mistress bleeds
his broken brain

Masochist bitch
render the unhealthy
most deliberate relationship.

(dictated, but not read)

Remarkable Self-Realization

(at least, for me [ i think ], these are amongst those which I wish I could remember to tell the Psychiatrists, et al.)

I find, I'm not altogether unhappy with myself; the things of who I am (diseased disposition, disregarding), for it is not I at all-- but the things which are Imposed upon me-- the misery, the suffering, the things of the world which bring me down to contemplating suicide.

For example, while tidying today (haha-- if you know me-- you'll laugh by tidying), I found something of a guitar-student, something of-- whatever it was-- and I was pleased, very much delighted by this record of what positive influence I've had on him; others; etc., and the music (i.e. sOna [US], e-Nation, and with Jason George, etc.), and I reflect upon the pleasantries of these things, and the impact upon the world, far beyond my meagre existence, and far beyond my wants, and dislikes, and etc., and I believe suicide, although as the song lyrics suggests “Suicide is Painless”, is a very selfish thing.

So, what is one to do?
Gimme pills, i say. Keep 'em coming.

“...3!...4!..
Wish I was
Ocean Size
....
it ain't easy livin'.... ”

Rainy Day Wishing: Peanut One For None

“I'm a flea-bit peanut monkey
All my friends are junkies
That's not really true”
and Thorizine, Haloperidol, Seroquil (SP? each)
and... some other shit... oh, yeah...
Xanax, and Ativan, and
it all ain't nuthin, man
nothing puts me to sleep

anymore on the rainy day
as would be
today